the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This house was built for laser tag.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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