Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
