At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
