If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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