it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
