So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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