i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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