So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
