You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
