Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
