The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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