I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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