there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
