you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
