I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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