she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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