textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
