Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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