I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
