i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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