we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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