I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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