life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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