i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize