go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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