dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
