yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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