Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
