im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
