Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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