Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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