If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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