I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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