I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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