I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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