i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
