Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
