I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
