fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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