You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
