Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
