I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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