i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
