it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
