I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
