A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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