Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
