I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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