K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
