My friends, they love my intelligence
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
