i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
