How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
