real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
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