Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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