Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
