i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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