Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
