this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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