hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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