I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
