don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
