So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
