Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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